( For his part, Kylo refrains from looking at her in any capacity, despite the inherent nature of their connection making that a non-issue, despite his propensity to read her growing as it has after spending hours upon hours with her in cramped hyperspace and smaller confines. It isn't for her benefit, he knows, but his own, a distinct unwillingness to allow her to see whatever might be written across his own expression despite the steadiness of his tone. He had known, somehow, that the inevitability of his trajectory would eventually see an equally inevitable end, though the picture of that conclusion has changed in the last year or so, since the destruction of the Hosnian system, since Rey's appearance on the fringes of his awareness, beating like a heart through layers and layers of heavy fabric, since the bridge, since Han Solo.
He had not prepared for it to play out like this, though, huddled together on an outcropping, watching a hole in the rock wall for any signs of life or movement, the thread of his consciousness tangled together with the only person who had ever knocked him down and dared him to get back up, spitting sparks, spitting possibility and vitriol, eventually dragging him to his feet to stand tall if not proud in front of those he had hurt the worst. Kylo snorts derisively, running his thumb across the slash Ji had scored on him and finding that the injury feels better now that the bacta has had ample time to set in, numbness spreading down to his knee following the pattern of his application. )
I find that hard to believe. ( About punishment, not protection. It occurs to him momentarily that his continued survival not just on this detour through hyperspace but within the parameters of Resistance in and of itself rests solely in Rey's hands, now. Whatever she tells them, they will believe her over him - whoever they end up being - but he also knows without having to share any sort of bond with her that the better parts of her nature will speak for themselves should push come to shove. The same dark parts exists within her as the light does within him, and she has brought him this far to give him up to a firing range, just as Organa has longed for this too deeply to see something so final done without a fight, without a compromise. Still - ) She would not be wrong to assign punishment of any caliber. To say that I deserve it would be an understatement.
ugh sorry for slow. i've been working 6 days so by thurs/fri i'm like x__x i see infinity
He had not prepared for it to play out like this, though, huddled together on an outcropping, watching a hole in the rock wall for any signs of life or movement, the thread of his consciousness tangled together with the only person who had ever knocked him down and dared him to get back up, spitting sparks, spitting possibility and vitriol, eventually dragging him to his feet to stand tall if not proud in front of those he had hurt the worst. Kylo snorts derisively, running his thumb across the slash Ji had scored on him and finding that the injury feels better now that the bacta has had ample time to set in, numbness spreading down to his knee following the pattern of his application. )
I find that hard to believe. ( About punishment, not protection. It occurs to him momentarily that his continued survival not just on this detour through hyperspace but within the parameters of Resistance in and of itself rests solely in Rey's hands, now. Whatever she tells them, they will believe her over him - whoever they end up being - but he also knows without having to share any sort of bond with her that the better parts of her nature will speak for themselves should push come to shove. The same dark parts exists within her as the light does within him, and she has brought him this far to give him up to a firing range, just as Organa has longed for this too deeply to see something so final done without a fight, without a compromise. Still - ) She would not be wrong to assign punishment of any caliber. To say that I deserve it would be an understatement.