( The ease with which she slips into his lap should probably still be surprising, but it isn't. Not that the novelty has worn off, only that the memory of their beginning and middle should make the fact a unique concept in and of itself, a constant reminder of what boon he has been granted despite the fact that what he really deserves - and what so many would argue for - is punishment. Second chances have been offered to him again and again, and despite the fact that most of them sit with him like having his gut pummeled by the end of a pike, they have still been given in the first place. Many others deserve more and get less. Kylo knows that firsthand.
The settle of Rey's weight across his thighs, the back of her leg coming to rest against the top of his knee, the automatic and instinctive way she had touched him to begin with and its counterpart in the loop of his arm around her waist now - all of it should still come as some sort of surprise, but what really surprises him in the moments he spends disassembling it in his head is the way that he can feel himself relax under her weight. It offers not necessarily a different perspective on what he can sense and pick up from her in the moments between what she says and what she does, what she confesses and what he responds to, but a less forced approach to feeling it altogether. An admittance, rather than an invasion. Kylo presses the flat of his palm, fingers splayed wide, against her back. )
I would rather he go than you. ( Not for the reasons that she might suspect - because he is the better pilot; because he's more experienced; because Kylo cares much less about whether or not Luke lives or dies, never mind that he admittedly does care more whether Rey lives or dies; because bad blood or animosity or because his interest does lie in how circumstances impact her over anyone else - but for more selfish ones, too. It's better, when she's around. Clearer. Easier. ) I assume General Organa was present. ( Kylo swallows imperceptibly, watching her fingers move across the discarded metal parts on the desktop. ) Any theories? I can't imagine the First Order would be so insidious, considering General Hux's last pet project. ( There are other possibilities, of course. One of them leaves him uneasy, memory skipping back to that Mandalorian moon, the mine shaft.
Realizations, however obvious to whichever party, come in twos. )
same. same. i feel like the world is operating in a fog after yesterday
The settle of Rey's weight across his thighs, the back of her leg coming to rest against the top of his knee, the automatic and instinctive way she had touched him to begin with and its counterpart in the loop of his arm around her waist now - all of it should still come as some sort of surprise, but what really surprises him in the moments he spends disassembling it in his head is the way that he can feel himself relax under her weight. It offers not necessarily a different perspective on what he can sense and pick up from her in the moments between what she says and what she does, what she confesses and what he responds to, but a less forced approach to feeling it altogether. An admittance, rather than an invasion. Kylo presses the flat of his palm, fingers splayed wide, against her back. )
I would rather he go than you. ( Not for the reasons that she might suspect - because he is the better pilot; because he's more experienced; because Kylo cares much less about whether or not Luke lives or dies, never mind that he admittedly does care more whether Rey lives or dies; because bad blood or animosity or because his interest does lie in how circumstances impact her over anyone else - but for more selfish ones, too. It's better, when she's around. Clearer. Easier. ) I assume General Organa was present. ( Kylo swallows imperceptibly, watching her fingers move across the discarded metal parts on the desktop. ) Any theories? I can't imagine the First Order would be so insidious, considering General Hux's last pet project. ( There are other possibilities, of course. One of them leaves him uneasy, memory skipping back to that Mandalorian moon, the mine shaft.
Realizations, however obvious to whichever party, come in twos. )