( His answer is petulant and automatic, the crispness of his tone buffered by the childish retaliation weaved in it. It's a lie, of course, to some degree. The fear that members of the Resistance, of the Order, of the known galaxy have for Snoke is different than the trepidation that Kylo harbors for his master. Their fear is distant and realized based on the perceptions they have of this figure lurking in the shadows, commanding his armies like a ghost, a wraith that breathes life and purpose into the First Order's mission. Their fear of him exists like a rumor, whispered quietly and spread from ear to ear throughout star systems as gossip. Kylo's fear of the Supreme Leader is intimate; he knows the strength of Snoke's absent grip at his throat and the careful, sharp touch of his master's pull in his mind, sifting through memories like dragging fingers through sand to get at the hard dirt underneath. Therein lies power, though, in that knowledge of the Supreme Leader's retaliation. )
I know about Force-bonds. ( As if he wouldn't, and his tone suggests as much, though his knowledge of their severance is less broad than he would appreciate. Mainly because it's never come up as point of discussion, certainly not between Snoke and himself. That connection has never been given a classification, besides, and he's not keen on labeling it now, even if describing it as a bond isn't wrong. It's certainly a link, if nothing else. ) And I think we're both well-versed enough on defending ourselves against the strength in their connections that you can spare me the Padawan-level inroductory lesson on the concept.
( He would like to walk away from her and retreat back into the shadows of the bunk, but there's no relief to be found in continuously pacing the length of the containment cell like a big cat with nowhere to displace its energy. So he remains, which allows her front row access to the combustion of his thoughts as he wrestles with himself. His mind isn't open to her, but every small movement at the corner of his mouth, the angle of his head, is its own tell.
It's a coin toss. For every way in which he feels the hard pull to needle her for information, slip his way in and convince her of his high treason with the sole purpose of exploiting her power and her misplaced faith in his ability to shuck the Dark Side like a layer of dead skin, there is a tiny, buzzing part of him that finds it actually wants to know the answers to the questions that he's asking. He knows without having to be told that the outcome of this is one that neither of them will want or anticipate, from any angle. He knows that Snoke - whether or not he can effectively reach across time and space to close his fist around Kylo's windpipe or impart in him new orders to carry out on behalf of the First Order and the Knights while he is mired in the Resistance's camp - will deal a hand they have shuffled and stacked the deck against.
She carries the weight of the Resistance on her shoulders in this task, Kylo can see that, and if she fails in any capacity, brings him or Snoke down on this grassroots campaign in that failure, she will bear that cross indefinitely. There is power to be found in that responsibility, and the power that he carries within himself in the same way raises its snout to acknowledge it. But he sees that tired sag in her shoulders and knows instinctively that it's the result of carrying him through miles and miles of Corellian forest, of chipping away at him piece by piece. Why she's lifted him at all, when she could have killed him, is as strange to him as the knowledge that he would have done the same were their positions switched.
Coin toss. )
I won't allow Luke Skywalker to walk around in my head, if that's what you're suggesting.
this tag is dedicated to matt the radar tech
( His answer is petulant and automatic, the crispness of his tone buffered by the childish retaliation weaved in it. It's a lie, of course, to some degree. The fear that members of the Resistance, of the Order, of the known galaxy have for Snoke is different than the trepidation that Kylo harbors for his master. Their fear is distant and realized based on the perceptions they have of this figure lurking in the shadows, commanding his armies like a ghost, a wraith that breathes life and purpose into the First Order's mission. Their fear of him exists like a rumor, whispered quietly and spread from ear to ear throughout star systems as gossip. Kylo's fear of the Supreme Leader is intimate; he knows the strength of Snoke's absent grip at his throat and the careful, sharp touch of his master's pull in his mind, sifting through memories like dragging fingers through sand to get at the hard dirt underneath. Therein lies power, though, in that knowledge of the Supreme Leader's retaliation. )
I know about Force-bonds. ( As if he wouldn't, and his tone suggests as much, though his knowledge of their severance is less broad than he would appreciate. Mainly because it's never come up as point of discussion, certainly not between Snoke and himself. That connection has never been given a classification, besides, and he's not keen on labeling it now, even if describing it as a bond isn't wrong. It's certainly a link, if nothing else. ) And I think we're both well-versed enough on defending ourselves against the strength in their connections that you can spare me the Padawan-level inroductory lesson on the concept.
( He would like to walk away from her and retreat back into the shadows of the bunk, but there's no relief to be found in continuously pacing the length of the containment cell like a big cat with nowhere to displace its energy. So he remains, which allows her front row access to the combustion of his thoughts as he wrestles with himself. His mind isn't open to her, but every small movement at the corner of his mouth, the angle of his head, is its own tell.
It's a coin toss. For every way in which he feels the hard pull to needle her for information, slip his way in and convince her of his high treason with the sole purpose of exploiting her power and her misplaced faith in his ability to shuck the Dark Side like a layer of dead skin, there is a tiny, buzzing part of him that finds it actually wants to know the answers to the questions that he's asking. He knows without having to be told that the outcome of this is one that neither of them will want or anticipate, from any angle. He knows that Snoke - whether or not he can effectively reach across time and space to close his fist around Kylo's windpipe or impart in him new orders to carry out on behalf of the First Order and the Knights while he is mired in the Resistance's camp - will deal a hand they have shuffled and stacked the deck against.
She carries the weight of the Resistance on her shoulders in this task, Kylo can see that, and if she fails in any capacity, brings him or Snoke down on this grassroots campaign in that failure, she will bear that cross indefinitely. There is power to be found in that responsibility, and the power that he carries within himself in the same way raises its snout to acknowledge it. But he sees that tired sag in her shoulders and knows instinctively that it's the result of carrying him through miles and miles of Corellian forest, of chipping away at him piece by piece. Why she's lifted him at all, when she could have killed him, is as strange to him as the knowledge that he would have done the same were their positions switched.
Coin toss. )
I won't allow Luke Skywalker to walk around in my head, if that's what you're suggesting.