forcevisions: (no i don't wanna give you mine)
actual shounen hero ([personal profile] forcevisions) wrote in [personal profile] apparare 2016-01-25 02:12 am (UTC)

[ No apology threads through his lips, and it solidifies a truth that she had already accepted with great reluctance, leaving Rey to squeeze her eyes closed in an effort to shut out the gruesome scene. It didn't help. The silence penetrated her, louder than drums, and when he beckoned her, his whisper seemed to drown out an unholy din.

Eyes open, she trailed him through the trees, firm in her steps but ill at ease with what came into view. Thick smoke, heated air, and the familiar stench of plasma greeted them as they entered the defunct building, and Kylo Ren seemed to stretch and grow before her like his shadow was rising up to join him and merge in some terrifying chimera.

She chokes her dread.
]

They were protecting me from you. [ It has been a long time since she has properly sneered his name, a long time since Han Solo's body was still warm and wracking her with fresh, first-time grief. But she does it now, now when he takes responsibility for so much of her suffering.

She paces through the hallway, staring around at the lifeless bodies of those who were once tasked with the same duty she carries on her shoulders now. To keep the balance of the Force. Crouching beside one of them, Rey rests a hand on a back. It should still be warm. It looks recent. But her fingertips touch and it's stiff and cold as ice, so cold that she flinches away and closes her hand into a fist.

Rage simmers. The kind that Luke tried to prepare her for, gnawing at the back of her mind as she screws her jaw shut to try and tamp it down. Everything he robbed Leia and Han of, he'd also stolen from her. A chance at a family, at peace. She doesn't notice the tears burn at the corners of her eyes because she's focusing on the biting pain of her nails digging into her palms, reining herself in. She knew she would not have the peace Kylo Ren does with what she would find here, but conceptualizing it and facing it are two different beasts, and she feels aflame with indignation.

Turning to glower up at him, she stops holding it in, comes unhinged.
] They didn't abandon you! They were trying to save you from this monster you would make of yourself. [ Pushing to her feet, she advances on him and grabs him by the arm to force him to face her only to push him back then. Theories as abstract and intangible as air slip through her fingers into the atmosphere about her own history, but she knows his. ] Even after you'd done it, after you'd ruined everything, they didn't give up on you. [ Spitting, she finally rules, ] You failed yourself.

Luke didn't leave to hide from you, all those years ago. He went to find a way to bring you back. You would blind yourself to everything they have done for you to fuel your hatred when you already know who's really to blame for what happened here.

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