( He expects her to follow him down the ramp and is somewhat surprised to find himself alone on the edge of the forest. Lush Corellian foliage explodes in every direction around him, and it's a moment before he realizes that he's staring up into the sky where the harvest moon will hang later, watching the high winds skim the tops of trees with an invisible hand. Branches crack far off from some of the taller, more ancient structures. Kylo can hear their cascading descent from the summit of their towers all the way to the mossy, muddy forest floor. A flock of birds roosting nearby startles and takes flight, cawing high and loud through the trees and into the sky as they take flight in search of another nesting spot. Then he hears nothing.
Experimentally, Kylo takes a breath and empties himself, the cool breeze finally licking dry the sweat that has beaded along his hairline and up underneath the heavy, high material that covers his neck. His mind clears as much as it ever can, and where he is used to the voice that has filled the void for decades calling out to him in quiet, low tones with wise words and careful comforts, he finds nothing. Just the sound of the wind in the trees and birds screeching in the distance.
Something behind him, from the ship, makes a noise not unlike a hiss, and he turns just in time to watch a full jet of steam break one of the hastily - no doubt - repaired panels on the outside of the YT freighter. A refracted beam of light off the cockpit window catches his attention, and he sees movement behind it: a huge, furry body turning from the gaze he has directed upward and moving with surprising agility through the sea of chairs that line the cockpit's interior. Flashing lights provide readouts and relays that he can't determine and has no interest in, so Kylo leaves and stalks back through the forest to the Resistance camp.
Alone.
It crosses his mind once or twice to duck into an unmanned ship and escape. He gets as far as flipping the ignition in his mind before he's caught. When attacking the problem from a different angle, he makes it all the way back to the Finalizer before the Supreme Leader strangles him for insubordination and disobedience. Kylo never actually makes the attempt and when he makes it back to the Resistance camp under the pretense of searching out Skywalker, he changes direction and heads back into the trees, away from the camp and the distant smell of smoke and the lingering voice of his uncle in his mind saying, Don't be a fool, Ben.
That only sends him further into the forest, stepping over roots and broken branches, slipping in mud and correcting his footing by reaching out and snagging tree trunks with his fingernails and the palms of his hands. Even someone with adequate foresight through the Force would have a difficult time navigating this terrain, and he wonders how running away ever seemed like a plausible idea in the first place. Still, he moves quickly - faster than someone without the benefit of being a Force-user would be able to move - and covers ground enough in a short amount of time to deliver him back to where it all started.
Standing on the edge of the clearing, much of the forest here has been burnt and scorched away. Black, skeletal branches litter the ground like broken bone fragments. The dead lay unburried, though there are no Resistance members among those who have not yet been burned by the Corellians, trooper armor catching the light and curving the way that it had off the Millennium Falcon's cockpit and - there, not far off, a wink of sunlight on the scuffed but still smooth hilt of a saber. Kylo reaches it in several long strides, sparing no thought one way or the other for the fallen soldiers that lay behind him. He remembers the explosion that sent them sprawling and looks around for -
His mask is lying face down in the dirt several yards away, abandoned where he had ripped it off when it shorted out. Kylo considers it for a moment, the way that it seems to draw in the daylight rather than refracting it, but retrieves the saber first, letting its weight fill his palm with a satisfaction he had never anticipated. It isn't the same feeling that holding his grandfather's sunken, disfigured, half-melted helmet in his hands had inspired, but he can't say that it's entirely different either. The same, but different. The saber is heavier than he would have expected, now that he finally has a chance to hold it, but he knows even without tripping the ignition that while he could use the blade the same way that FN-2187 had against him, it would never yield to him or sing alongside him the way that it had for Rey. His thumb does hover over the switch, he thinks of lighting it, just to feel the stability of the crystal inside buzz in his palm in a way that the cracked kyber in his will never be able to duplicate, but doesn't. Instead, he turns on his heel and stalks back the way that he had come, operating on instinct alone rather than letting doubt or thought at all cloud his judgment. It's the closest to meditation that he's gotten in years.
He stops twice on his way into the forest: once at his own mask, staring up at him like a severed head in the dirt and urging him to pick it up and put it back where it belongs; and once when he comes across Rey on her own trek. Kylo feels her coming several moments before she actually becomes visible, so he assumes that his own cover has been blown as well. His hands are empty save for the saber that is no worse for wear other than some grit in its grooves. She'll need to clean it properly at some point. Once Kylo retrieves his own blade from Skywalker's possession, he could probably show her how to do it, if she doesn't know already.
He offers it to her without flourish or preamble. )
no subject
Experimentally, Kylo takes a breath and empties himself, the cool breeze finally licking dry the sweat that has beaded along his hairline and up underneath the heavy, high material that covers his neck. His mind clears as much as it ever can, and where he is used to the voice that has filled the void for decades calling out to him in quiet, low tones with wise words and careful comforts, he finds nothing. Just the sound of the wind in the trees and birds screeching in the distance.
Something behind him, from the ship, makes a noise not unlike a hiss, and he turns just in time to watch a full jet of steam break one of the hastily - no doubt - repaired panels on the outside of the YT freighter. A refracted beam of light off the cockpit window catches his attention, and he sees movement behind it: a huge, furry body turning from the gaze he has directed upward and moving with surprising agility through the sea of chairs that line the cockpit's interior. Flashing lights provide readouts and relays that he can't determine and has no interest in, so Kylo leaves and stalks back through the forest to the Resistance camp.
Alone.
It crosses his mind once or twice to duck into an unmanned ship and escape. He gets as far as flipping the ignition in his mind before he's caught. When attacking the problem from a different angle, he makes it all the way back to the Finalizer before the Supreme Leader strangles him for insubordination and disobedience. Kylo never actually makes the attempt and when he makes it back to the Resistance camp under the pretense of searching out Skywalker, he changes direction and heads back into the trees, away from the camp and the distant smell of smoke and the lingering voice of his uncle in his mind saying, Don't be a fool, Ben.
That only sends him further into the forest, stepping over roots and broken branches, slipping in mud and correcting his footing by reaching out and snagging tree trunks with his fingernails and the palms of his hands. Even someone with adequate foresight through the Force would have a difficult time navigating this terrain, and he wonders how running away ever seemed like a plausible idea in the first place. Still, he moves quickly - faster than someone without the benefit of being a Force-user would be able to move - and covers ground enough in a short amount of time to deliver him back to where it all started.
Standing on the edge of the clearing, much of the forest here has been burnt and scorched away. Black, skeletal branches litter the ground like broken bone fragments. The dead lay unburried, though there are no Resistance members among those who have not yet been burned by the Corellians, trooper armor catching the light and curving the way that it had off the Millennium Falcon's cockpit and - there, not far off, a wink of sunlight on the scuffed but still smooth hilt of a saber. Kylo reaches it in several long strides, sparing no thought one way or the other for the fallen soldiers that lay behind him. He remembers the explosion that sent them sprawling and looks around for -
His mask is lying face down in the dirt several yards away, abandoned where he had ripped it off when it shorted out. Kylo considers it for a moment, the way that it seems to draw in the daylight rather than refracting it, but retrieves the saber first, letting its weight fill his palm with a satisfaction he had never anticipated. It isn't the same feeling that holding his grandfather's sunken, disfigured, half-melted helmet in his hands had inspired, but he can't say that it's entirely different either. The same, but different. The saber is heavier than he would have expected, now that he finally has a chance to hold it, but he knows even without tripping the ignition that while he could use the blade the same way that FN-2187 had against him, it would never yield to him or sing alongside him the way that it had for Rey. His thumb does hover over the switch, he thinks of lighting it, just to feel the stability of the crystal inside buzz in his palm in a way that the cracked kyber in his will never be able to duplicate, but doesn't. Instead, he turns on his heel and stalks back the way that he had come, operating on instinct alone rather than letting doubt or thought at all cloud his judgment. It's the closest to meditation that he's gotten in years.
He stops twice on his way into the forest: once at his own mask, staring up at him like a severed head in the dirt and urging him to pick it up and put it back where it belongs; and once when he comes across Rey on her own trek. Kylo feels her coming several moments before she actually becomes visible, so he assumes that his own cover has been blown as well. His hands are empty save for the saber that is no worse for wear other than some grit in its grooves. She'll need to clean it properly at some point. Once Kylo retrieves his own blade from Skywalker's possession, he could probably show her how to do it, if she doesn't know already.
He offers it to her without flourish or preamble. )