( The ship itself makes him cranky. Every time he turns a corner or catches a glimpse of some shoddy wiring out of his peripheral, he is transplanted twenty years back in time to long days spent zooming around the corridors of this freighter or hanging over open compartments in the flooring while Solo tried for the umpteenth time to get some poorly held together piece of machinery to bend to his will. He would tuck himself into the galley or watch holos in the crew quarters and think that this would be the day that his father would smuggle him off-world before his mother noticed, and they could make some run together or go on some errand and all that lonely, desolate nothingness would stay home where it belonged.
Days like that never came and all he has now are reminders twisted and intensified by time and experience and current events. He sees Solo in every crack and crevice of this ship and every second that he spends on it is an exercise in trying not to destroy something for all the trouble it causes. Rey's obvious irritation at his disrespect toward something that she has clearly inherited - along with Solo's affection for seeing his ship as a home - only serves to set him further on edge, and all the effort that he had poured into not being overly defensive easily switches tracks in order to focus on becoming defensive. He throws a wall up again in his mind under the pretense that she will have the same difficulty getting through as she had before.
Whether that holds up is anyone's guess, but he doesn't have the luxury of figuring it out before he does it. As for her question, he's a halfway decent mechanic when he needs to be but doesn't take any pride or pleasure in the task the way that she does, up to her elbows in engine grease and smelling like motor oil half the time. )
I've hardly thrown myself into the task the way that you seem predisposed to, but I'm not actually an idiot, thank you. ( Kylo knows he should relent. He knows that he needs to get it together before his temper climbs and climbs until it spins out of control or before their mutual pushing at one another culminates in something mutually destructive, not just for the two of them but for the ship itself. He broke her speeder on Yaga Minor halfway by accident because she made him angry; the combination of the two of them, after what has transpired between them today, is a landmine of dangerous potential. He would be better off with his head stuck in something and his hands set to work at a task. Kylo Ren does better as a force in motion than as something stagnant and stationary. ) Just tell me what to do.
( In the interest of keeping the ship together, of not setting the both of them off in some cataclysmic fight that ends with them both on opposite ends of Skywalker and Organa's joint stare, Kylo crosses his arms over his chest and stares down at Rey, actively making an effort to shut out the memories that assault him from every corner. )
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( The ship itself makes him cranky. Every time he turns a corner or catches a glimpse of some shoddy wiring out of his peripheral, he is transplanted twenty years back in time to long days spent zooming around the corridors of this freighter or hanging over open compartments in the flooring while Solo tried for the umpteenth time to get some poorly held together piece of machinery to bend to his will. He would tuck himself into the galley or watch holos in the crew quarters and think that this would be the day that his father would smuggle him off-world before his mother noticed, and they could make some run together or go on some errand and all that lonely, desolate nothingness would stay home where it belonged.
Days like that never came and all he has now are reminders twisted and intensified by time and experience and current events. He sees Solo in every crack and crevice of this ship and every second that he spends on it is an exercise in trying not to destroy something for all the trouble it causes. Rey's obvious irritation at his disrespect toward something that she has clearly inherited - along with Solo's affection for seeing his ship as a home - only serves to set him further on edge, and all the effort that he had poured into not being overly defensive easily switches tracks in order to focus on becoming defensive. He throws a wall up again in his mind under the pretense that she will have the same difficulty getting through as she had before.
Whether that holds up is anyone's guess, but he doesn't have the luxury of figuring it out before he does it. As for her question, he's a halfway decent mechanic when he needs to be but doesn't take any pride or pleasure in the task the way that she does, up to her elbows in engine grease and smelling like motor oil half the time. )
I've hardly thrown myself into the task the way that you seem predisposed to, but I'm not actually an idiot, thank you. ( Kylo knows he should relent. He knows that he needs to get it together before his temper climbs and climbs until it spins out of control or before their mutual pushing at one another culminates in something mutually destructive, not just for the two of them but for the ship itself. He broke her speeder on Yaga Minor halfway by accident because she made him angry; the combination of the two of them, after what has transpired between them today, is a landmine of dangerous potential. He would be better off with his head stuck in something and his hands set to work at a task. Kylo Ren does better as a force in motion than as something stagnant and stationary. ) Just tell me what to do.
( In the interest of keeping the ship together, of not setting the both of them off in some cataclysmic fight that ends with them both on opposite ends of Skywalker and Organa's joint stare, Kylo crosses his arms over his chest and stares down at Rey, actively making an effort to shut out the memories that assault him from every corner. )