( He's in he main hold, crammed into the deepest curve of the sofa around the dejarik board with a holo open in front of him. It isn't his, but there's little else to do occupy himself with and he's sick of trying to keep the ship from falling apart after having worked through the night cycle on Hapes. For once, at any rate, the Falcon doesn't seem to be actively conspiring against them in an effort to dismantle itself while barely even into the navigational cycle, and Kylo considers that a boon worth taking. There isn't anything worthwhile programmed into the datapad, but he still scours the contents, however unsuccessfully, in an attempt to distract himself from the girl down the hall.
Giving her the authority and ability to choose to determine the usefulness of the location sensor doesn't absolve him of the reality of what happens once they drop out of hyperspace and into Mandalorian territory, nor does it act as an adequate peace offering to ease them through the strain they are sure to feel as a result of spending the next however-many-cycles in the presence of only each other. He knows that. He isn't even sure that he wants to create the illusion that what he's doing is extending a hand toward her in a gesture of good faith, knowing that she is just as likely to slap it away as she is to draw it toward her only in the interest of sinking her teeth in. Kylo can admire that about her, for as frustrating as he finds it, and in staring down at the dull contents of the holo, he's able to let that understanding wash over him for the first time, really, in its entirety since before they landed on Hapes.
He's alone in the hold and so there's no harm in pausing for just one second to stop and consider the gravity of what it is he's done, but in peeling back that curtain to peer behind it, a surge of bile rises sharply in the back of his throat and burns like he's swallowed acid. Kylo's eyes water from staring too long without blinking at the bright glow of the holopad, and he names the sensation clawing its way up his esophagus for what it is. Fear. Adrenaline and momentum have caught him up so completely that he's not had time to adequately label it, but just as Rey grapples with the weight of what she's done in abandoning the people that she loves to a fate she can't know, Kylo sits and lets the gravity of his actions and choices burn an ulcer in his gut.
Fortunately, he isn't alone in the hold for long, as he feels Rey hovering just outside the doorway even without the use of the Force telling him that she's there. He looks up at her when she speaks, wondering at the nature and intent of her question but not pressing it, and then glances back down at the very interesting content of nothing on the holo in his lap before responding. )
I believe so, yes. ( He shifts, still uncomfortable with the knowledge that she - that they - are able to sense each other even in this way. Not definitive images or concepts but sensations and feelings. Despite how frequently they have been in each other's minds, it still leaves him feeling exposed, but Kylo knows that it can be a blessing rather than a hindrance if they continue utilizing it correctly. ) I don't know where they are right now or what they're doing, but even if I couldn't sense something from them, I would still be a fool to think that they weren't coming. Snoke will have had enough time to call them together. He will have figured out the deception that we presented him with when we left Corellia, especially as I've not made a conscious effort or decision to let him in. Mandalore will serve as a decent detour, and the location sensor will give them pause, but neither will suffice as a diversion for long. They'll find us.
( Kylo studies her a moment, the set of her jaw and the angles of her face, the deep well that opens and gapes behind the brightness of her eyes, still lined red but a measure more composed than when he'd left her in the cockpit. He casts out, not toward her but backward, cycling through the bulk of their interactions and deciding on one in particular that draws his interest just as much now as it had then, and he sits up and sets the holo down next to him on the old, uncomfortable cushion. )
You said you'd seen them before, through the Force. You said that it was raining. ( He pauses long enough to let that sink into his own bones, reconciling it with what he has been able to retain from the nightmare he experienced on Hapes. ) What exactly did you see?
no subject
Giving her the authority and ability to choose to determine the usefulness of the location sensor doesn't absolve him of the reality of what happens once they drop out of hyperspace and into Mandalorian territory, nor does it act as an adequate peace offering to ease them through the strain they are sure to feel as a result of spending the next however-many-cycles in the presence of only each other. He knows that. He isn't even sure that he wants to create the illusion that what he's doing is extending a hand toward her in a gesture of good faith, knowing that she is just as likely to slap it away as she is to draw it toward her only in the interest of sinking her teeth in. Kylo can admire that about her, for as frustrating as he finds it, and in staring down at the dull contents of the holo, he's able to let that understanding wash over him for the first time, really, in its entirety since before they landed on Hapes.
He's alone in the hold and so there's no harm in pausing for just one second to stop and consider the gravity of what it is he's done, but in peeling back that curtain to peer behind it, a surge of bile rises sharply in the back of his throat and burns like he's swallowed acid. Kylo's eyes water from staring too long without blinking at the bright glow of the holopad, and he names the sensation clawing its way up his esophagus for what it is. Fear. Adrenaline and momentum have caught him up so completely that he's not had time to adequately label it, but just as Rey grapples with the weight of what she's done in abandoning the people that she loves to a fate she can't know, Kylo sits and lets the gravity of his actions and choices burn an ulcer in his gut.
Fortunately, he isn't alone in the hold for long, as he feels Rey hovering just outside the doorway even without the use of the Force telling him that she's there. He looks up at her when she speaks, wondering at the nature and intent of her question but not pressing it, and then glances back down at the very interesting content of nothing on the holo in his lap before responding. )
I believe so, yes. ( He shifts, still uncomfortable with the knowledge that she - that they - are able to sense each other even in this way. Not definitive images or concepts but sensations and feelings. Despite how frequently they have been in each other's minds, it still leaves him feeling exposed, but Kylo knows that it can be a blessing rather than a hindrance if they continue utilizing it correctly. ) I don't know where they are right now or what they're doing, but even if I couldn't sense something from them, I would still be a fool to think that they weren't coming. Snoke will have had enough time to call them together. He will have figured out the deception that we presented him with when we left Corellia, especially as I've not made a conscious effort or decision to let him in. Mandalore will serve as a decent detour, and the location sensor will give them pause, but neither will suffice as a diversion for long. They'll find us.
( Kylo studies her a moment, the set of her jaw and the angles of her face, the deep well that opens and gapes behind the brightness of her eyes, still lined red but a measure more composed than when he'd left her in the cockpit. He casts out, not toward her but backward, cycling through the bulk of their interactions and deciding on one in particular that draws his interest just as much now as it had then, and he sits up and sets the holo down next to him on the old, uncomfortable cushion. )
You said you'd seen them before, through the Force. You said that it was raining. ( He pauses long enough to let that sink into his own bones, reconciling it with what he has been able to retain from the nightmare he experienced on Hapes. ) What exactly did you see?